By Maureen Callahan. June 21, am Updated September 28, pm. This, she thought, was clearly the way out. In , Hugh Hefner and the Playboy empire already seemed like a toothless relic. She asked Hef if she could tag along the next time he took his Playmates clubbing in LA — something he did twice a week. That first night was devastating. So, back in the VIP room, behind velvet ropes and security guards, this gaggle of something girls drank and danced and fawned all over an old man who was hard of hearing and had no rhythm. I felt a bit sorry for him dancing around like the punch line to a bad joke. Back then, he seemed like such a sweet man to me, and this felt unnecessarily cruel. Then Hef approached her, bent over and opening one hand to reveal a bunch of pills nestled in an old tissue.
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Holly Madison  born December 23,   is a model , showgirl , television personality and New York Times best-selling author. Holly Madison was born in Astoria, Oregon. Helens, Oregon. She later attended Portland State University for two years, majoring in theater and psychology.
It's safe to say that after the revelations in Madison's just-released Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny , she has successfully squashed any such questions in the future. Madison's depression in the Playboy Mansion reached harrowing depths, yet she felt trapped there: by her fears about her limited professional possibilities, by her unwillingness to admit to anyone how sad she really was, and by Hefner's emotional control over her. Some of the effects of that moment in the zeitgeist still linger today. Sitting on her shaded patio overlooking her garden on a hot summer day, Madison, now 35, said, "I felt like I had something to say about being in the midst of that whole thing that was going on where Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson and Kendra were so celebrated — and I was a part of it too — for being dumb on TV. Part of the reason I wanted to write the book was to show the other side of it. Below, Madison talks to BuzzFeed News about what you don't know in regards to Hefner, her seedy years in the Playboy Mansion, and feminism.